Anxiety: The elephant in the room

       We've all been there. The racing heart, the sweaty palms, the crippling fear. It happens to all of us, and much of the time without warning. You don't know where you need to go but you just need to leave. Maybe you feel trapped, stopped at a stop light and you're boxed in by cars on all sides. Sweat drips down your forehead and runs down your cheek. You can taste the saltiness and your hands begin to tremble. You look for a way out but see none. What do you do?
      
        Personally, I have struggled with anxiety for about six years. I've taken the medications, seen the therapists, and done the breathing exercises. I've beat the disease and I've been taken down by it. Recently, I'd have to say that I've been beaten down more than I've swung back. I know many people struggle with anxiety, some just mildly, but for others it is a crippling disease that effects their day to day life. Many of you that are reading this may be wondering why you even have it in the first place. You may look back at your life and file through all the events desperately looking for the moment that you gave birth to the monster that is anxiety. You may actually find that moment, too. I did. I was in high school and I'd been having some sort of attacks that I could not explain. Eventually they got so bad that I had to leave school. I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought I was losing my mind. After many doctors visits and numerous hours being poked, prodded, and tested on, I got a diagnosis. I, at the age of 17, had high blood pressure, (most likely caused by anxiety) and panic disorder. For about three years following my diagnosis I was a mess. I went on home study, didn't have much of a social life, and rarely left my house without the company of someone. I was living in my own personal hell, that I had created for myself.

       So what did I do to get myself out of it? And what can you do for yourself to achieve the same results? First off you have to realize that you'll never fully get rid of your anxiety. You can, however, control it. After the pills have been taken and the therapists have been talked to you are left with yourself. You, and only you can get through the anxiety. Having people to talk to, medication, and professionals helps immensely, don't get me wrong. However, after all the long talks about how things made me feel I would get in my car and be faced with my anxiety all while the therapist saw another patient. This is your anxiety, own it, and don't let it own you.

       When you have anxiety you are always looking for a way out. In fact that is why you have anxiety in the first place. It is an evolutionary trait that has stuck around from the days of when we had predators. Have you ever felt yourself trying to come up with excuses as to why you shouldn't do something? Or why you can skip class? A meeting? or work? While those seem alright every now and then in reality if you suffer from anxiety your hurting yourself more than you could know. Anxiety feeds off of excuses. A good way to beat anxiety is to face your fears and to live with no excuses. Usually, when you are actually performing the task you'll realize your anxiety has subsided. We, as humans, tend to fear what we do not know. Our minds will replace not knowing with hundreds and hundreds of far fetched outcomes making us fear one that hasn't even happened yet. I know it can be hard sometimes, but take a deep breath, tell yourself you can do it, and go for it! You aren't alone.